Alone with Daddy
by bandgeek111
Summary: They shouldn't be TOO hard to handle. When Greg House is left with his children while mommy Lisa is at work, what chaos will ensue?
1. Meet the Leeches

Ch.1

The small figure jumped on the bed, crying hysterically.

"Daddy!" she wailed, "Jason took my crayon!"

"SHE took my fire truck FIRST, daddy!"

Greg House was not amused. He squinted over at the alarm clock. 5 AM in the morning and his kids were already up and arguing. He groaned loudly, making his kids giggle. He sat up in bed and reached for his Vicodin, while wondering where Lisa was.

"Jason, apologize to Sam, and vice versa. Play nice, do whatever little kids do." He got up and hobbled down the stairs, his kids trailing behind him; talking non-stop. He grabbed three bowls and got the cereal and milk from their places. He turned around to see Sam and Jason playing together. House rolled his eyes as he watched them pour the milk into the cereal. His oldest, Sam, was five years old, and looked a lot like Lisa. Sammy, who was three, was very bright and took after House. However, both the House kids had gotten his eyes. He loved them, but "love" was a word he was still getting used to. He realized by now that he had absolutely no patience with little kids. He turned, getting ready to make himself some coffee when he spotted the note.

Greg,

The hospital called, they needed me for an emergency. Stay home with the kids, they shouldn't be too hard to handle; I should be home by dinner though.

Love, Lisa

House groaned. There had to be a catch here somewhere. She telling him not to go to work? Possibly putting in more clinic hours. He grimaced at the thought of that. All of a sudden there was a shriek of laughter and he turned. His eyes widened as Sammy and Jason's cereal bowls were on top of their heads and they were banging their silverware on the table. He grabbed both kids, putting them over his shoulder and made his way as fast as possible to the bathtub. He managed to take the soggy clothes of off them and dumped them into the tub. Turning the water on, he watched them play happily in the water together. For a brief moment, a small smile flitted through his face. Replaced however, by the telephone ringing.

Hesitantly, he told them, "I'll be right back. I'm going to get the phone. Don't cause the world to fall down in the five minutes I'll be gone."

Jason giggled. "Silly daddy. I is a big boy." Sammy also laughed. "Daddy! Can we REALLY make the world go KABOOM?"

House smirked. "Yes. Of course. You can ask mommy about it when she comes home." He ran off to get the telephone.

"House."

"Hello? House, it's Wilson. Why aren't you at work?"

"I have leeches."

"What?!"

"Oh, you know, those little things that stick to you and drag every single drop of energy from you."

Wilson groaned. "House, Jason and Sammy can't be that bad."

"You obviously haven't met the same two leeches." House rolled his eyes, "Just tell Dr. Cuddy to come home as quickly as possible."

"Yeah, okay. Good luck with your…"leeches."

"Yup, thanks." Hanging up the phone, he limped back to the bathtub. Both children were sitting absolutely still.

"What are you two-"

"SHUSH DADDY!" The little ones said in a furious whisper. "We're trying to hear the world go KABOOM"

House raised his hands in defeat. He'd never understand children.

A/N: This was my first House Fanfic. Hope it wasn't horrible. R&R please 


	2. The Nuclear Bomb and Birds and Bees

Ch. 2

After about an hour persuading his children that the world wouldn't hear the world go 'KABOOM' just because they sat still, House was able to dry them and seated them on the couch. He fell back on the couch with them, completely drained out. He eyed the clock. It was ONLY 8 in the morning. "Oh my God, this is going to be a long day." He muttered under his breath. He closed his eyes for a little respite. However, Sammy thought differently.

"DADDY! Tell Jason and me howta make the world go KAPLOOWIE!" She jumped on top of House's stomach, making House wince. Jason climbed aboard and sat next to his daddy.

"Yeah, daddy. Tell us. If it won't go BOOM when we was sitted, how will it?"

House sighed, terribly irritated. Lifting his daughter off of his stomach, he began to talk.

"There are these things called nuclear bombs. If you set one off accidentally, the whole world will be annihilated."

Both children gasped, eyes round. House, satisfied, leaned back into the chair. Not 5 seconds later, he felt tiny hands peel his eyelids open. Oh how House wanted to yell.

"Daddy? What's Nukie Ear and An ant hill?"

House couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. Lisa was absolutely going to _love _him for this. "Well, that's another question for mommy, isn't it, Sam?"

"Yeahhh." The youngster replied. "Da-"

"Sam." House said. "Look!" He had turned the T.V. on and some nature program was on. Sam absolutely loved those.

"Oooo" cooed Sammy. Jason was already on the floor making Vroom Vroom noises with his toy truck. With both kids at least mildly entertained, House leaned back and closed his eyes.

About an hour later, he could feel two sets of hands prodding him. House put his hands over his face and muttered, "What now?"

Two very curious voices replied. "Daddy? How are babies made?"

House slid his hands away from his face. His blue eyes settled on each of theirs. He leaned in very slowly, and Sammy and Jason were immediately entranced. They leaned forward too.

"Sammy. Jason. How babies are made is a very big secre-"

"But daddy, " whined Sammy, "If it's all secret, why do they show it on telebision? Me and Jason saw the birdies…"

House smirked. "Because, Sammy. It's DIFFERENT with people." All of a sudden, the smirk slid of his face. "Didn't Uncle Jimmy already tell you, Jason?"

Jason shook his head, "No, daddy. Uncle Jimmy said that I should ask you."

He rolled his eyes and made a mental note to whack Wilson. However, he really had no idea how to explain this to his children. If he told them the stork version, they'd be completely confused and possibly upset; he didn't want a raging Lisa Cuddy in his hands either. He settled for the only one he could think of.

"Well, you see, " He held up his left hand. "Pretend daddy's left hand is a bee." He held up his right. "And pretend daddy's right hand is a bird…"

Sammy giggled. "Daddy! What's that got to do with where babies come from?"

House arched his eyebrows. "Everything." 30 minutes later with a little bit of hints here and there, House was satisfied, but his children were still confused. As House got up to take some Vicodin, he swore he could have heard Jason tell Sammy. "We'll ask mommy when she gets home."

House smirked.


	3. Lunchtime with Uncle Jimmy

Thank you for all the alerts, reviews, and favorites! I appreciate it a lot. Here's another chapter up for my birthday today :) November 17.

Ch.3

It was 12:00. Thank God. Well…not God, per say, but thank nature and the invention of time, and the unconscious human mind which says that 12:00 lunchtime. House dragged himself into the kitchen, and grabbed some bread to make sandwiches. The kids were jabbering to each other, happily. In about 10 seconds, House had made three PB&J sandwiches. He called his kids into the kitchen for lunch.

The kids took one bite of it, and simultaneously went, "Blargh."

House was astonished. He turned around. "What? What's wrong?"

Jason replied, "It's yucky, daddy."

House looked at the bread. It certainty hadn't expired; Lisa had bought the bread yesterday. So was the peanut butter. The jam was preserved, and the kids favorites. He glared at them. "Eat it. It's good for you."

Sammy crossed her arms, so did Jason. House was getting irritated again. "There's nothing wrong with the food! See?" He grabbed his own sandwich and stuffed it in his mouth. "YUM!" The kids continued to just stare at him. House chewed and swallowed. "Ta-da! Great for the soul, PB&J." The kids slunk down into their chairs. House rubbed his temples. THIS was the reason why he wasn't enthusiastic about kids. The doorbell rang. He slowly grabbed his cane and limped over to the doorway. He opened the door. Wilson stood by the door, carrying food. House gawked at him.

"What're you doing here?"

"I figured you might need some comp-…adult company for lunch." Wilson came inside, and Sammy and Jason charged at him.

"UNCLE JIMMY!!!"

Wilson crouched down. "Hey Sam, hey Jason. How're my favorite kids?"

House rolled his eyes. "Every kid is your favorite kid."

Wilson managed to scowl at House before turning to the House kids. "I got some lunch for us. Let's go into the kitchen and eat!"

"'Kay!" The little ones said. The four of them headed into the kitchen, and Wilson unwrapped the food. He glanced at the uneaten sandwiches that House had made. He handed a sandwich to each Sammy and Jason. House walked in. He looked at his kids who were happily eating…peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He looked at Wilson who was calmly setting down a Rueben sandwich for both him and House. He covered his face with his hands and tried to calm himself down. He slid his hands down from his face and walked over to Wilson. He pointed to the PB&J sandwiches the kids were eating.

"What…what did you put in there?"

Wilson looked confused at the question. "Put in there? Well, I put peanut butter, jelly, and bananas."

House stared at Wilson. "Bananas."

Wilson hesitated. "Yes…bananas. Why? Is something wrong?"

House looked at Wilson, and back at his kids. "Bananas. I forgot bananas? But then again, who EATS bananas?" He tapped his cane repeatedly on the ground. "Bananas…"

Wilson merely stared at him. "What's wrong with you, House? Do you mind telling me what it is about bananas that you don't like?"

House just sat down next to Jason. "How come you didn't tell me to put bananas in?"

Jason looked at his daddy. "Mommy always makes 'em with the bananas so me and Sammy figured that you'd put 'em in too."

House thought for a moment. I see…

Wilson grinned. "No you don't."

House glared at Wilson. "You're right. I don't. I don't understand child logic at all."

"On the contrary, I understand it quite well."

"That's because you're just a 6 year old in a 30 some year old body."

Wilson shrugged. "I still don't understand why they get to you so much."

House looked at Wilson. "Like I've always told you. They don't bother me until they get teeth. They have teeth. So, they bother me. You see? My logic is quite simple to understand."

Wilson grumbled. Muttering under his breath he replied, "You just don't want to admit that your children are outsmarting you."

House stood up and took a grand bow, motioning Wilson to leave. Wilson did so, and on his way out, yelled, "Can't wait till Cuddy comes home, I bet!"

House slammed the door in his face.


	4. What's In a Name?

Oh man. Thank you guys, so very much for your reviews. Those are what keep me going :D THANK YOU. Here's chapter 4

Ch. 4

After making sure the kids finished eating and were sitting on the couch, happily watching T.V., House went to grab another bottle of Vicodin. As he was walking to the bedroom, his pager went off. It read, '20 yr. F. Heart attack.' House rolled his eyes heavenward and mentally kicked himself. It just had to be the day he stayed home with his 'kiddies', as Wilson had put it. He downed three Vicodin and limped quickly to the telephone. He dialed Cameron, Chase, and Foreman's cell numbers, and put them on 4 way.

"Good afternoon, kiddies."

Chase spoke. "Erm, House. We sent you a page. 20 year old-"

"Really? So THAT'S what pagers are for!"

Cameron sighed. "House, we need you here. We have no idea what's wrong with her. We've already ran the blood culture, checked the family history, and did an MRI."

House spoke. "I can't. You three come over here."

Foreman was astonished. "We're going to…YOU'RE house, House?"

"Very funny, Foreman. The three of you better be here in 10 minutes. Bring the files and everything related to her."

House hung up the phone and slowly walked back over to the couch where Jason and Sammy were snoozing. Sammy was curled up in a ball on the right side of the couch, while Jason was spread out on the other side. House smirked, and watched them sleep. The doorbell rang harshly, waking up his kids. Sammy started crying, shocked at the sound. Jason merely yawned and opened his eyes sleepily. House picked up the crying Sammy and held her.

"Shh. You're alright." He limped over to the door and opened it. Sammy, holding onto her daddy's neck, turned to see who the visitors were. Cameron smiled and walked in, followed by Chase and Foreman. Cameron placed the files on the coffee table.

Sammy spoke. "Daddy? Who're these people?"

Chase's eyeballs grew wide. "Daddy? House…these are…are your…kids?!"

House was slightly amused at Chase's shock. "Very good, Sherlock. I suppose that's what medical school taught you about DNA. You see? She looks like me, doesn't she? Sammy, this is Doctor Chase. That's Doctor Foreman. And that's Doctor Cameron. They work for me. I'm their boss. I brought my team to you, because I can't go to them to work because I'm with you leeches."

Jason sidled up next to his daddy. "I'm Jason." He replied enthusiastically. "She's Sammy."

Cameron bent down and put her hand out. "Hi, Jason." Jason shook the head and smiled back. Sammy had remained silent. "Daddy?"

"Yes, Sammy?"

"Why are all their names, Doctor?"

House blinked as he motioned his team into the living room area where Chase and Foreman sat on the couch. Cameron laughed. "No, no, Sammy. My name is Allison. His name is Eric. And he's Robert. You see? Like your dad's name is Greg, and your mom's name is Lisa."

Sammy laughed. "Nu-uh, my daddy's name is Daddy! And mommy is Mommy! But sometimes, Mommy calls Daddy 'Dear'…"

Jason jumped in, "And sometimes Daddy calls Mommy 'Sweetheart.' "

House coughed loudly. Chase grinned, Foreman hid behind the files, holding in his laughter, and Cameron was doing everything possible to keep a straight face.

"Is that so? What else does your daddy call your mommy?"

Sammy and Jason both thought for a moment, "Funba-"

House raised his voice. "Dying patient. Unknown cause. WORK! Come on, Bobby Jr." He said referring to Chase. "You too, Eric. And especially you, Allison." Glaring at his team who were now laughing freely. He shooed his kids into their playroom.

Chase, tears coming out of his eyes out of pure laughter said, "What's in a name, yea, daddy-o?"

House gave Chase an aggravated grin and tapped his cane roughly on the floor. Chase automatically shut up. The smile wiped cleanly off his face.

Jason and Sammy came running out. "And Mommy calls Daddy, "Sexy!"

House choked on his coffee, as there was another uproar of laughter.


	5. I'm God, kiddies

Hey guys. Sorry for the late update. This one might be it for a little while. School is taking a heavy toll on me. I'm really sorry ( Enjoy! And once again, I appreciate everyone's support!

Ch. 5

House sighed. "The patient is at a level 4 cancer, Cameron. There's nothing left to do. She has a month at most." Cameron just gazed at House, and back down at the information.

"B-but there must be something…how can it…. No. It just can't be cancer, House."

House rolled his eyes. "I love children, just so full of hope." He stood up and grabbed a piece of paper. With all eyes from his team watching him, he wrote:

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Cameron mouthed the words to herself. "The 5 steps of Dying. I… but House! That can't be it! You're not even listening! She just cannot have cancer. It's impossible!"

House glared at her and marked off two of the steps. "I thought it only worked with people who were dying, but obviously not. You have now gone through two of the stages in less than 1 minute. Go tell her that she's dying." House leaned back in his chair and Sammy came running up to him, her eyes round. She had been listening in to her daddy's work.

"Daddy!"

House looked down at his daughter. "What is it, Sam?"

"YOU can't die. You can't EVER die." There was silence among the group, as Jason ran out of the room and grabbed onto House's good leg. House looked up and looked at his team. He looked back down and picked Sam up and placed him on his lap. Jason stood next to House and grabbed onto his arm. Greg House sighed as he began to talk to them.

"Listen to me, kiddies. It's just how life works. I-"

Foreman interrupted House. "Don't worry you guys, your dad won't die."

House glared at Foreman. "What the…" he lowered his voice and angrily turned on Foreman. "It's better they know the truth now that everybody dies!"

Foreman just glared right back. "Your kids are five and three, House! It's a stage all children go through, but I think that's just a little too young! All kids think their fathers are invincible! Besides! 'Everybody lies' Isn't that YOUR motto?"

House looked at Foreman for a moment, and realized, that he was right.

Sammy and Jason looked ready for the waterworks. House took a huge breath.

"Well, gosh darn it, when I really believe in something, it happens! I won't ever die." House smirked. "You know why?"

"Why?" asked the little ones.

"Because I'm just like God."

Cameron sighed, Chase snorted, and Foreman rolled his eyes. "Yeah…lay it on thick, House."

Sammy and Jason seemed happy with the answer though. "So you're INVINCIBIBLE, daddy!"

"That's right, kiddies."

Jason ventured another question. "Daddy? Is mommy invincibible?"

House opened his mouth to say a very negative joke, but with a glare from his team, House sighed. "Yeahhh….pretty much."

"Whatcha mean, pretty much, daddy?"

House smirked again. "Well, I'm like God, right Jason?"

"Uh-huh."

"So that means I control mommy. So if she listens to daddy here, she'll live forever, just like daddy."

Sammy chirped in. "That's easy though, daddy. Mommy always listens to you though.

Gregory House laughed.


	6. Kindergarten Teachers

Ch. 6

It was now 4:30. His team had gone back and his kids were playing with each other happily. The phone rang and he slowly went to pick it up.

"House."

"Greg, It's Lisa. I just forgot something really important."

House sighed. A very exasperated sigh, which he hoped, told Cuddy he was very angry. "What…did you forget?"

"I'm sorry, Greg. Jason has a parent conference. The teacher has to meet with all the kids' parents. And since I can't go…"

"No. There is absolutely no way I'm going into a room with bright cheap wallpaper, and sun shiny hypocritical 3rd grade teachers."

"Kindergarten teachers, Greg, honey. Jason's only five remember? And besides, it's only at the most for an hour."

"Oh, yes. That's even better. Those women tell parents how wonderful and superb kids are doing when inside they think, 'What an irritating little brat.'

It was Cuddy's turn to sigh. "Greg."

"Yes, Lisa dear." House replied, laying it on thick.

"I'll make a deal with you."

"Oh will you, now?"

"You go to Jason's parent conference, and you won't have to do clinic duty for a week."

"Two."

"One and a half."

"Well, why didn't you tell me in the first place this was so important to you, Lisa? Of COURSE I'll go for my lee-…kid. Let me just call my bestest buddy up to take care of Sammy and Jason."

"Wonderful, Greg."

House hung up the phone and dialed Wilson's number. "Hello, Jimmy!"

"You sound too cheerful. What do you want from me?"

House pretended to sound shocked. "I don't always call you if I need something! But, by golly! You're right this time, Jimmy! Since you're my bestest buddy in the whole world, and the kids' godfather-"

"Since when was I Sammy and Jason's godfather?"

"Since about 5 seconds ago. As I was saying, since you're their godfather, you'll come over here right now and look after Sammy and Jason for about an hour, or two, while I go and talk with Jason's wonderful kindergarten teacher."

Wilson let out an exasperated laugh and said, "Okay, Okay."

In about ten minutes, Wilson had arrived and House was already on his motorcycle and in another ten, was at Jason's school. House limped in and went to the room directed of him. As he entered the room, the teacher stood up. She was a young woman around her mid twenties, and she smiled very wide at House as he had come in.

"Oh! Dr. House! I'm Lucy Clayder. I'm very glad to finally have met someone so highly recognized as you! I'm a big fan! I've read all about you!" She held out her hand. In which House completely ignored as he sat down. "Right, let's get straight to it since you already know who I am."

Lucy Clayder's smile slid right off her face. "Certainly. Well, Jason, he's very smar-"

"Gee, parents are doctors, mother is the youngest dean of medicine there was, father is a well known diagnostician, and the kid is SMART?"

The teacher was very flustered. "Well, no, I didn't mean to-"

"Sound that way. Yes, of course not. Continue."

"Jason often says things that are inappropriate for a…kindergartener."

House looked slightly interested as he softly tapped his cane on the hard tiled floor. "Such as?" Lucy handed House a paper.

"You've…kept track of what my kid's been saying? Very efficient." House muttered sarcastically as he gazed down at the list. He smirked as he saw them.

The teacher was indignant. "Dr. House! This is no laughing manner! I'd like to know if either you or your wife has been saying these words around Jason! He's disrupting my teach-"

"Oh, shut up." House stood up. "He's 5, Luna."

"Lucy." The lady looked very appalled.

"He's five. You haven't taught very long, have you? I mean, meeting every parent of every student, that's very tiresome. And a complete waste of both parties times." House walked to the doorway and smirked over at her. "Besides, you said you've read all about me. Then you should know how I'm like, therefore, how my son is like. Have a nice day, Laura."

House limped out of the building and carefully got on his motorcycle. He drove home and as soon as he opened the door, he burst out laughing. Wilson came running out. "What? What's so funny?"

House continued laughing. "Jimmy! Here-" House handed him the paper that Jason's teacher had given him. It read: The discussion was 'What type of clothing do your parents wear to work?' Jason's replies were, "my daddy wears socks, underwear, shoes, collar shirt thing, and a jacket, and his cane." Wilson looked over at House who was laughing so hard he had doubled over. "There's not-"

"Keep on reading."

Wilson looked down, "My mommy wears high shoes, skin color socks, and red thongs, at least that's what dad-" Wilson put down the sheet of paper and looked at House was howling with laugher after Wilson had read it out loud. And then Wilson started laughing with his bestest buddy in the world. Sammy and Jason had heard the adult commotion and had come out of their rooms. Jason piped up, "What's so funny daddy?"

House chuckled. "You kiddo, you."


	7. It's too Quiet

Disclaimer: I do not own House, M.D. Unfortunately. Fortunately, I do own Sammy and Jason House. Hehehe.

Thanks everyone for the reviews!!!!

Ch. 7

6:00 P.M. Gregory House stared at the clock as if pleading with it to go faster. Wilson had fallen asleep on the couch, worn out from taking care of his 'god children' while House had gone off to watch General Hospital. Now that it was over, House was irritated, and bored. Sammy and Jason had gone off to terrorize another part of the house, and House was too tired to go looking for them. He limped over to the couch Wilson was at, shoving him over to one side so he could sit down as well. He sighed softly as he laid his cane down and closed his eyes. It was so peaceful. So quiet. House popped open his eyes. Quiet? That was utterly insane. Today in general had never been quiet. Something was up; his leeches were planning something.

He stood up slowly, grabbing his cane. He prodded Wilson who immediately woke up with a start. "Wha-?"

"It's too quiet."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"It would be, except for the fact that your godchildren are never quiet."

Wilson stood up quietly, cocking his head to the side. House raised his voice. "Jason? Sam?"

There was no answer. House arched an eyebrow. Wilson folded his arms across his chest. House moved to climb up the stairs painfully, Wilson right behind him. House cautiously maneuvered his cane to readily open the kids' door. Turning to face Wilson, House put down his cane and smirked. He stood right in front of his kids' room and said, "Mommy'll be coming home soon! Who wants to help cook dinner?" There was silence for a moment and then he heard furious whispering on the other side of the door. House rolled his eyes and smirked at Wilson. Wilson just grinned. However, the kiddies didn't come running out like the adults had expected.

House sighed. "Alright, Jimmy. On the count of three. One. Two. Three." House opened the door; side stepped, and shoved Wilson into the room. Wilson stumbled into the room and glared at House. Wilson turned his attention back to the room. The kiddies were nowhere to be seen. House gave Wilson a questioning stare as he slowly made his way into the room. The two men cautiously peered around the room, but the mini Houses were not there.

All of a sudden, House looked up. His eyes widened as he saw Jason and Sammy peering down at the two men, grinning widely.

"Trouble at 5:00!" shouted House.

Wilson, who had been looking under the bed, straightened up to look at House. "Your five o clock, of my five o clock?"

"UP, YOU IDIOT!" House shouted. But it was too late. Sammy and crouched and jumped on top of House.

"Daddy!!!" She said giggling, landing on top of House. Jason grinned and followed suit.

"Uncle Jimmy!!!" He said, laughing, while jumping onto Wilson's back.

Both House and Wilson thankfully toppled onto the bed with both of the children safe. House muttered a string of choice words, before glaring each child in the eye. Wilson merely sighed heavily and covered his face with his hands. House sat up, cringing.

"That." He said menacingly. "Was not funny. At all. Jason. Samantha." Sam's eyes grew wide. Her daddy hardly ever used her full name unless he was really mad at her. Uh-oh, she thought. House continued. "You two, are in so much trouble. You could have seriously hurt your Uncle Jimmy here." He said, glancing at Wilson. He stared at his oldest. "A LOT of trouble."

Jason managed to ask, "When mommy comes home?"

House managed to turn a smirk into a well-timed cough. "I don't know. Do you think you deserve to wait until mommy comes home?"

Sammy jumped in, fearful. "Yes, daddy! We so sorry! Me and Jason didn't mean it. We was just having fun."

House glanced over at Wilson again who had uncovered his face.

"What do you think, Wilson?"

"Yeah, they can wait until Cuddy comes home."

Sammy cheered. "Yay! Thank you, Uncle Jimmy! We sorry. We hope you didn't gits hurt!"

House looked at his youngest. "But you do know, you're not getting any desert tonight."

Sammy and Jason both had the sense to stay silent.

"Yes daddy, we know."

House nodded. "Good." He stood up, and Wilson followed him back down the stairs to the couch. They both slowly sat down on the couch, and within moments, the television was on, Wilson was sleeping, and House was dozing off. Forgetting, that he was supposed to make dinner before Lisa got home.


	8. The 'L' Word

Sorry to keep you guys waiting so long! Here's chapter 8!

Ch. 8

House woke up to the sound of food being cooked. He blinked a couple of times, first assuming that Lisa came home and making dinner, therefore he'd be in trouble. But with another a whiff, he realized that the cooking smelled way to good to be Cuddy's home cooking. He looked over to his left to see Sammy and Jason fast asleep on the couch, and realized that Wilson wasn't on the couch. He grabbed his cane and slowly walked over to the kitchen, leaning on the side of the door. Just as he had assumed, Wilson was preparing dinner.

"This doesn't mean you get to stay for dinner." House replied casually.

Wilson barely looked up from cutting up some carrots. "Yeah, House. I know."

"So what are you cooking for?"

Wilson stopped cutting and stared at House. "Do you know why people are nice to each other?"

House smirked at Wilson, "Oh! I know this one! Because deep down they really ca-"

"I just felt like doing something nice for you. I don't know why. I'm insane just by talking to you daily." He paused, dumping the carrots into the pot. "Besides" Wilson murmured, "With what you'd cook, you'd probably end up killing your kids with your burnt toast."

"Hey! I have feelings, you know."

"A rock has more feelings than you do." Wilson set the pot on the table, and wiped his hands on a towel. "I'll just get my jacket and go now." House said nothing as Wilson quickly grabbed his jacket and walked to grab the doorknob.

"I was joking, you know. You can stay for dinner." House said quietly.

Wilson paused to turn and look at House. Half amused, and half angry he replied, "Gregory House, you idiot!"

"Actually, I'd like to think myself as more of a jerk." House replied, smirking. There was a pause as the two of them stared at each other, wondering how they got to be friends. Wilson broke the silence.

"Only if you do the dishes."

"It's Cuddy's turn to do the dishes."

"She always does the dishes, House!"

"Says who?!"

"Says Cuddy."

"Damn it."

Sammy and Jason woke up. "Ooooo. No desert for you, daddy! You said a bad word, daddy. You hafta apologize to Uncle Jimmy!"

It was Wilson's turn to smirk at an annoyed House. "Well, come on "bestest" buddy in the world. You heard the kiddies."

House let a dramatic sigh escape his lips. "Oh, Jimmy. Will you EVER find it in your heart to FORGIVE me?"

The kids started giggling with joy.

Wilson shook his head with silent laughter. "Yes, Greg. Certainly I'll forgive you."

"Cool." House replied, walking over to the pot to taste some.

"Hey! Cuddy's not home yet, you can't have any!"

House ignored Wilson's protest as he continued to stick a spoon in the pot. "Mmm…Very nice, Jimmy."

Sammy and Jason ran over to get some too, but House tapped them on the head with the spoon.

"Nope. You can't have any. Mommy's not home yet."

"But YOU got to have some, daddy!" Jason replied.

"That's because I'm Uncle Jimmy's official food tester."

"Yea but, I'm hungry!

Wilson picked Jason up. "Don't worry." He said soothingly to the young boy, "Your mom will be home soon enough." Ruffling Jason's hair, he put the boy back down. House tilted his head slightly towards Wilson as Sammy was crawling onto House's leg again.

Wilson saw how hard this was for House. The couple had been married for eight years, but Wilson knew House still wasn't used to the family man role. He knew that House's concept of "love" was also very hard to alter. Wilson walked over to take Sammy from House, but House glared at Wilson. Sammy had snuggled up to her daddy and had wrapped her tiny fingers around his one big one. Wilson said silently. "You love them, don't you?"

House rolled his eyes. "For gods sake, Jimmy! They're my leeches, of course I…" House hesitated. That word "love" was so very hard to say.

Wilson prompted House again. "You…?"

House whispered dramatically. "The 'L' word, Jimmy. I 'L' them."

Wilson laughed as he picked Jason up and put him next to his daddy as well.


	9. Mommy's Home!

Ch. 9

The unlocking of the door alerted both the House kids that their mommy was home. "Mommy!" The two squealed with delight as a frazzled looking Lisa Cuddy walked in. Seeing her two kids however, she smiled. "Hey you two!" She reached down to give them both a hug and a big kiss. House himself limped over slowly, a small smirk on his face. Cuddy stood up, seeing her husband.

"How was your day, Greg?" She ventured, slightly scared. House walked until he was two centimeters away from Cuddy. Peering down at her, his blue eyes gave her an intent gaze, which Cuddy immediately looked away from. She was never able to look House in the eyes for more than a few seconds. Leaning down to kiss her on the cheek he growled softly, "Next time, I go to work and you stay with the kids."

Cuddy smiled brightly as she walked to the living room, Sammy and Jason trailing close behind her. She jumped when she turned and saw Wilson.

"James!" Exclaimed Cuddy, giving Wilson a quick hug. "What brings you here?"

Wilson returned the hug, whilst smiling at Cuddy. "To make dinner." He replied, shooting a ha-I-got-you-now- look, at House. House stared up at the ceiling, finding the fan more interesting.

"Oh, is that so?" Replied Cuddy, shooting a furtive glance at House. "Well, you're of course welcome to stay for dinner. After all," Cuddy smirked, "It's Greg's turn tonight to do the dishes."

House muttered something inaudible to himself as he glared at Wilson. Then, with a mischievous glint in his eye, he bent down slowly as he whispered into Sammy's ear. He then did the same for Jason. The kids brightened up immensely as Cuddy shot House a look. House stood up slowly, the arrogant grin written all on his face. Sammy reached Cuddy first.

"Mommy?" The youngster questioned. "Can I ask you a question?" Preparing herself for the worst, Cuddy smiled and nodded at her youngest. "Of course, sweetheart. You can always as me anything." Sammy let out a big breath. "Well, first of all, today, we was askin' daddy all these questions…"

Jason nodded, coming in. "But daddy said he didn't know and…."

"He said to ask you when you came home, mommy." Sammy finished off, looking at her mommy hopefully.

Cuddy arched her eyebrows while looking at House. The only hint House gave her was that haughty smirk of his, which at the moment, Cuddy wanted to wipe off. Cuddy took a deep breath and let it out.

Wilson came back from the kitchen, having heard the conversation. "Dinner's ready!" He boomed out, getting a silent 'thank you' 'from Cuddy and a silent 'I'm going to kill you' from House.

It worked however. The kids yelped with delight as they ran into the kitchen, taking their seats. Cuddy walked just as fast over to the table, and House lagged behind, grumbling. Wilson remained cheery; he had set out all the bowls and had started to dish out the beef stew. After serving every one, he sat down and the Houses' plus Wilson began to eat.

The mini Houses laughed with pure pleasure. "This is yummy, Uncle Jimmy!" Wilson smiled at the two. "I'm glad you like it."

House rolled his eyes while chowing down his soup. No words needed to say that he was still a little annoyed from the lunch episode earlier today. Lisa loved Wilson's cooking. "Mm! This is fantastic, James! Thank you!"

Wilson beamed at the compliments. Even House's surly demeanor didn't off his mood because House was eating his soup rather quickly; which meant he enjoyed it.

"I live to please!" Wilson stated.

House snorted. "Yeah, that's why you majored in Oncology."

Lisa prodded House in the ribs. House gave an indignant, "Ow!" as Wilson just grinned.

A/N: Annnnd, after this one, it'll be the last chapter. Merry Christmas, you guys!


	10. Show, Not Tell

This is the last chapter everybody. Thanks for all of you who have stuck with this story, cheering me on. It has helped a great deal, and I hope you'll look forward to some of my other stories that I'll be writing! Thank you, and enjoy.

Ch. 10

After dinner, the five of them were relaxing on the couch. Sammy had crawled onto her daddy's lap even though he complained. Jason had sat on top of his mommy's lap, and she had stroked his hair gently. Wilson had taken the armchair and was dozing off and on. The mood was peaceful, until Greg House broke it.

He cleared his throat.

"I believe the kiddies have questions to ask their dearest mommy."

Cuddy shot a menacing glare at her husband. Wilson straightened up, grinning slightly. This should be fun to watch.

The two mini Houses straightened up as well. Sammy jumped of her daddy's lap and moved on over to her mommy.

"Mommy?" Inquired Sammy House, her big blue eyes gazing at her mother adoringly.

Lisa Cuddy smiled. Her daughter was just too darn cute. "Yes, sweetie?"

"How do you make the word explode?"

Jason jumped in, "What's Nukie ear? And an ant hill?"

"What-"

Cuddy lifted up her hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on a second. One question at a time. She looked up to see her husband smiling 'sweetly' at her. Cuddy just glared back. 'I'm-going-to-get-you-for-this' She mouthed.

She then turned her attention back to her anxious kids. "Well, as to how to make the world explode…why would you ever want to do that? Then we'd have no place to live."

Sammy and Jason, being too young to understand in reality what 'blowing up' the world would actually do, pressured on.

"But we would still have this house to live in." They replied.

Cuddy smiled, "Mm…no, not exactly…"

Sammy interrupted. "But daddy said you could blow it up with a Nukie ear and an ant hill."

Cuddy looked confused. What the hell was a Nukie ear supposed to be? "Uh, well…I don't know about a Nukie ear, you two. But I'm pretty sure…what exactly did your daddy say, Jason?"

Jason imitated, or rather tried to imitate, House's voice. "There are these things called Nukie ears, and if you use one, the whole would will be ant hill."

House at this point could not hold in his laughter.

Cuddy understood now that this was child mispronunciation as she rolled her eyes. She was going to strangle House.

"What your INTELLIGENT daddy meant, was a nuclear bomb and the word, annihilate. What that is-"

She stopped. Her kids were three and five. They shouldn't know about these things!

"What that is…is….is that you'll just have to ask your Uncle Jimmy."

Uncle Jimmy suddenly didn't think this was funny anymore. "OH, wow. Look at the time, completely forgot about uh…making dinner for Julie…" He replied lamely as he ran out the door.

House was still laughing, but he managed to trip Wilson. "You're staying, buddy."

Wilson looked flushed as he stood up and sat back down on the armchair.

"Okay…" said Sammy, trying to understand what had happened. "Next question then!" She replied enthusiastically.

"Okay." Replied Cuddy hesitantly. For, she had seem Greg's smirk get wider.

"Mommy." Sammy looked serious as she put in her next question. "How are babies made? And what do birds and bees got to do with anything?"

Lisa Cuddy's eyes widened as Gregory House went into another spasm of laughter. However, she smiled as a plan started to formulate in her mind.

"Daddy didn't tell you?" Cuddy asked innocently, causing House to stop laughing almost immediately by the sound of his wife's voice.

"Nope." Replied Sammy and Jason; oblivious to what was going on. For god sake, they just wanted their questions answered.

House grinned. "I don't know either. I was wondering if you could tell me as well."

Jason and Sammy looked at each other, then at their parents, then sighed. Their parents had that 'look' on their faces again. They crawled onto Wilson's lap and looked up at him expectantly. Wilson sighed.

Cuddy had gotten up and had seated herself next to House. She trailed a hand down his face as House closed his eyes and expelled a breath of air.

Standing up, she grabbed House's shirt and he obligingly stood up as they walked to their bedroom.

Cuddy whispered, "I might not be able to tell you how babies are made, but I can show you."

House smirked as he opened the door to their bedroom. "I'm eager to learn, doctor."

As they shut the door, Wilson prayed to God that they wouldn't make too much 'sound' Sammy and Jason looked thoroughly confused. Their was muffled noises and then…

"Oh….Greg!"

"Please…please!"

"Lisa…"

Wilson looked up at the ceiling and cursed God. The two kids looked scared. "What are mommy and daddy doing, Uncle Jimmy?"

Wilson looked down at the two of them. "Uh…they're…playing."

"Playing? Like with what we do with our toys? There are adult toys?"

"Yeah.., yeah that's it. Hey kids, I'll take you out for some ice cream! Let's go!" Wilson literally picked up the two giggling kids and ran out of the house, leaving Lisa Cuddy to 'show' Greg House, sweet, sweet love.


End file.
